Pass The Weird News, Please

After several weeks of reading about toppled bully dictators and the costly antics of several Hollywood celebrities whose names I will not dignify here (as if mention in this column inspires respectability), I choose to focus on news that entertains, or at the very least makes me smile. Give me the absurd, the inane, the weird and ridiculous.

For example, a story on provided by Reuters reports that a Belarus man on a fox hunting expedition closed in on his target after wounding it from a distance, planning to finish the job when, “The animal fiercely resisted and in the struggle accidentally pulled the trigger with its paw.”

His prey escaped and the hunter landed in the hospital with a gunshot to the leg.

My favorite comment on the thread that followed: “How do we know the fox pulled the trigger on accident? Sly as a fox? Maybe it was on purpose.”

Then, a story also from by Associated Press, about a “Siesta Contest” held at a shopping mall in Madrid, Spain, organized by The National Association of Friends of the Siesta.

“Its aim? To promote a revival of this timeless custom so identified with Spain but which some believe is in danger of vanishing because of the pressures of modern times.

“’People are so stressed out they can’t take siestas any more,’ said spokesman Andres Lemes. ‘Studies show it’s a healthy practice that recharges your batteries.’

“Contestants in groups of five were given 20 minutes to lie down on garish blue couches and timed by a doctor with a pulse-measuring device to determine how long they spent snoozing. A judge perched on an umpire’s seat awarded points for position, snoring ability and apparel.”

The winner was a 62-year-old man from Ecuador, whose snoring prowess rocked the bustling shopping mall and earned him the $1400 prize.

As a nap enthusiast, I not only found this story delightful, but I am seriously considering starting a Ferndale chapter of the NAFS.

Finally, there’s a story from out of Chickasha, Oklahoma concerning an alleged theft from a hardware store. Apparently, 21-year-old Anthony Black wanted a displayed Echo chainsaw, and made the boldly innovative decision to steal it by shoving it down the front of his trousers and casually leaving the premises.

“George Graham, an employee at the Ross Seed Company, witnessed the incident, telling NBC affiliate KEOR, ‘I seen the bar between his legs. It was pretty obvious. Imagine it in the front of your pants.’”

The encumbered Black was chased out of the store, soon abandoned the chainsaw, and ran into a creek where he was pulled out and arrested.

The winner of “Most Apparent Observation” clearly comes from employee Graham, who stated, “’He could have cut himself up real good. He’d have been walking with a permanent limp,’ Graham explained.”

The most disturbing part of this story is that the chainsaw was returned to the store. It’s my sincere hope this occurred only after a thorough scrub down with Lysol.

In a world where it’s important to keep abreast of what’s happening, I get tired of reading rehashed headlines only to find much the same story I read yesterday.

Last week, a wily fox and a siesta fiesta proved to be more interesting than almost anything else in the news—not to mention a guy hiding a chainsaw in his pants.






2 thoughts on “Pass The Weird News, Please

  1. You should start a “News of the Weird” club kinda thang. How awesomely fun and challenging would it be to dig for levity, si?

    Now how ’bout that siesta?

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