The Edge

No.. not the guy from U2.    Rather.. the edge.. as in.. “going over the”

It’s what I experience when things are out of balance. Here’s the rub: I think I know my way away from it, but I don’t seem to ever quite make it far enough back into the middle to make things work. Maybe it’s my own psychological ploy.. so I’ll have something to write about.

What I DO know is this–a year ago, vigorous exercise got me off of Prozac. I can’t recommend this course for anyone but me.. but in my case.. it worked. I was amazed.. and delighted. I’d been trying to kick the habit for years.

It was because of fitness boot camp. Over a period of weeks.. my mood improved.. and I forgot about the pills. After a while.. I just didn’t need them anymore.

That was a year ago. At this point I’m not in boot camp.. fitness or otherwise. AND.. I am not participating in any sort of exercise that makes up the deficit I feel without the meds. Hence.. the edge.

I like feeling alive and up rather than constantly even. But then.. I also feel the downs.. the moodiness. Yuk. The irony is that working out dissipates the yuks.. and at the same time keeps my mood elevated. This is not rocket science.. but when it happens, it feels miraculous.

The answer here? Exercise or Prozac. Hmm. This should be easy.

Vigorous exercise takes time.. sometimes it hurts and makes me tired.  Prozac evens me out and I feel neither joy or real sadness.  I know what the best answer is..  hmmm.  Maybe it’s time to try out my new bike… and stay away from the edge.


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