The Edge

No.. not the guy from U2.    Rather.. the edge.. as in.. “going over the”

It’s what I experience when things are out of balance. Here’s the rub: I think I know my way away from it, but I don’t seem to ever quite make it far enough back into the middle to make things work. Maybe it’s my own psychological ploy.. so I’ll have something to write about.

What I DO know is this–a year ago, vigorous exercise got me off of Prozac. I can’t recommend this course for anyone but me.. but in my case.. it worked. I was amazed.. and delighted. I’d been trying to kick the habit for years.

It was because of fitness boot camp. Over a period of weeks.. my mood improved.. and I forgot about the pills. After a while.. I just didn’t need them anymore.

That was a year ago. At this point I’m not in boot camp.. fitness or otherwise. AND.. I am not participating in any sort of exercise that makes up the deficit I feel without the meds. Hence.. the edge.

I like feeling alive and up rather than constantly even. But then.. I also feel the downs.. the moodiness. Yuk. The irony is that working out dissipates the yuks.. and at the same time keeps my mood elevated. This is not rocket science.. but when it happens, it feels miraculous.

The answer here? Exercise or Prozac. Hmm. This should be easy.

Vigorous exercise takes time.. sometimes it hurts and makes me tired.  Prozac evens me out and I feel neither joy or real sadness.  I know what the best answer is..  hmmm.  Maybe it’s time to try out my new bike… and stay away from the edge.

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Guitar Hero Goddess

My 14-year-old is a patient soul. His penchant for video games knows no limits.. and occasionally he requests my presence.. if not to watch, then to play. I should know better, but I don’t seem to.

Guitar Hero (both 1 and 2) holds special interest for me so it’s not hard to wrangle ole mom into the action. Many of the songs are from my teenage years.. and now they are from my son’s. The catch is.. he knows how to play them all and I don’t.

My favorites are the Deep Purple classic “Smoke on the Water” (I actually get through that one), Joan Jett’s “I Love Rock & Roll” and of course, “Rock This Town”.. a Stray Cats hit. I can play them all on ‘easy’.. my son amps it up to expert and gets 5 stars in the process. Yikes..

He regularly wallops his competition.. including his older brothers.. who are, um.. supportive..but not more than mildly amused that their little bro is better than they are.

My efforts here remind me of an episode of The Simpsons in which Bart is attempting to learn the guitar. The school bully Nelson asks him what he’s trying to play. “Polly Wolly Doodle,” says Bart. “Well, it sounds Polly Wolly crappy,” Nelson says.

That’s what I am. Polly Wolly crappy.

Truthfully, it makes no never mind to me..

It’s fun to hang with the kid. And what’s even better–he wants me to. Sometimes.